Disappointment

I need a guide.
Not you, not those brillant, not those sensitive and observative.
A guide to show whether I am right or wrong.
Being tired for listening to you, although all your words are because of your love.
Involment in all kinds of activities, has been an encouragement, since I cannot do well in certain areas.
But there are something that I can make it if I am more free, more hardworking and more concentrate. Yet I do not have time for being such a person.
NO TIME?! Why? Inefficiency? Too distracted? Or really NO TIME?
I have time to play Go online, I have time to talk a lot of rubbish with you, I have time to walk here walk there, without hurrying or guilty for wasted time and money.
I thought that being multitasked and manage all tasks well is one of the steps to become a adult.
Can I go through all the obstancles in academic, activities, and personal?
WHY CAN'T???!!!!
Scoring A+ in Statistics is going to be a dream if I keep on wandering in the same state.
Is it really important? Yes, just because I am good at Math and I do not want to fail any of it. Fail means A- and below for me, nope, is A and below, for any Math subjects.
Honestly I was a little bit regretful for joining the Amazing Race committee, although I did't spend too much of my time for my post. I have joined it voluntarily since I thought the returning to rural camp is going to be held in Feb. It cost me a lot of time for I was having Greening INTI, CNY, Rural Camp Return at the same time. I initially planned that I have only two events going on at the same time.
Yet what I get from the event is a positive energy, which really makes me wanna be a committee for events by adventure club once more. Maybe it is because of Ziyang's good leadership and the charming of the event itself. Also there are lots of good time being with Darren, Shih Yuin, Xiao Ting, etc.
There are too many things. Too many things that I like. that I really wanna do it well. but can't. 'cause there 're too many. And I will never sleep late for days just for these not-so-significant things.
The most significant thing for me is?
I love the feeling of being confident and independent to overcome anything because I wanna be a real adult who can handle multitasks, who can realize the dreams by one own, who can adapt to any environment that one is in.
Yeah I am just a selfish. Love is just a game. Like what ong said no matter he really meant it.
So I treat love as game eventually?
I guess I just need a rest.